Having sex does not represent female empowerment. Controlling the supply of sex does. That is female sexual power.

The responsibility to select the best genes possible for future offspring is entirely the woman’s. If you’re uncomfortable with that thought, you may choose to give your power away, as many women gladly have. I encourage you to embrace the power of the sexual gatekeeper. Today I present a bunch of research on why it works this way – according to science.

Human reproduction is highly inefficient and burdensome for women. Scientists wonder why male partners exist, much less comprise half the population. In the Washington Post’s Scientists Examine Why Men Even Existstudy leader Professor Matt Gage discusses new research just published in the journal Nature:

“From a purely biological standpoint, the existence of the male sex is kind of perplexing: When it’s time to create a new generation, the males of a species often contribute nothing but genetic material to the mix…It’s kind of weird that 50 percent of most species are capable of producing young, and 50 percent are just around to provide genetic variety.

Why should any species waste all that effort on sons? We wanted to understand how Darwinian selection can allow this widespread and seemingly wasteful reproductive system to persist.”

From Why Men Exist at Business Insider:

“Competition among males for reproduction provides a really important benefit, because it improves the genetic health of populations,” said professor Matt Gage, who led the work at Britain’s University of East Anglia.

“Sexual selection achieves this by acting as a filter to remove harmful genetic mutations, helping populations to flourish and avoid extinction in the long-term.”

Ample female choice ensures genetic quality. In their 10-year study of beetles, the highest quality offspring were from the communities with 10 males for every female. Restricted communities where females had less choice resulted in extinction within 10 generations. The other groups were still thriving after 20 generations. In short:

“Sexual selection gave the beetles an edge, because females with a choice — and many males competing for their attention — were less likely to mate with genetic losers.”

In fact, mother nature suppresses the male birth rate when times are hard:

“During difficult times, when resources are scarce, mother nature suppresses boy babies’ survival in the womb. The reason for this is that females are much more likely to ensure the survival of the species, since there will always be some horny male willing to procreate with multiple of women.

If there are lots of males around, they need to compete with each other for the right to mate, so there will always be some males who don’t get to score, and thereby they will not be able to pass on their genes.”

In short, women have the power to call all the shots when it comes to sex. That is your birthright, and also your responsibility. You want to choose a healthy, attractive specimen to give your future offspring a healthy immune system and the best odds of survival. But there’s much more to genetic quality than a man’s physical exterior.


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1.5 million years ago, some of the men with the strongest, fittest bodies made lousy husbands and fathers. They were not monogamous – they spread their resources around to a bunch of different women, with the consequence that a lot of their kids didn’t make it. Or maybe they were violent, and likely to get themselves killed while their children were young.

Pair bonding evolved to help women gauge other genetic advantages, including intelligence and the ability to bond. We know from fossil remains that reproducing males became smaller at that point. Today, pair bonding is still the norm for most people, and we’re still charged with choosing men with the highest combined value we can get.

Some of the work is done for us. Men compete with one another in many different ways, understanding instinctively that winning against other men = winning with women.

One recent study found that showing straight men pics of male Abercrombie models with great abs caused them to make riskier financial bets.

“In what seems to be a kind of compensating behaviour, when heterosexual men see another man they perceive as being more attractive than themselves, they try to increase their wealth. They make high-risk, high-return decisions.

After being shown pictures of attractive men, the heterosexual men in the study were more likely to choose a riskier bet when given the choice than at other times, or than when shown a picture of an attractive woman.

…Bill von Hippel of the University of Queensland in Australia says the results highlight an aspect of male mating behaviour that people tend to forget. Before attracting females, the men need to compete with other males for access to them, he says.”

There are also differences in the way men and women play hard to get. In four different experiments, 500 American college students defined playing hard to get as “acting confident” and “talking to others.” (Ideally one is confident and naturally inclined to talk to others, no? We are better off working to become confident than attempting to play the role.)

It turns out that being hard to get is more effective for women:

“Women derive more benefit from playing hard-to-get because it allows them to test men out and increase the demand men place on them,” says study author Peter Jonason, PhD, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Western Sydney in Australia.

“Because women have greater value in the biological mating market, they can afford to play hard-to-get more than men can,” he explains. “Men who are too hard-to-get may miss out on a mating opportunity.”

The study also found that for a committed romantic relationship, women preferred a man who was medium in availability (not too easy or too hard-to-get) while guys preferred a gal with low availability (harder to get).”

Perhaps this is down to the different ways in which the sexes play hard to get, according to the studies:


  • Don’t call
  • Don’t talk a lot
  • Stay busy


  • Act snooty or rude
  • Say all the right things but don’t call
  • Treat others like shit

It may make strategic sense for guys to use more extreme indicators to communicate scarcity. They’re essentially trying to convince the girl that they’ve already won the male-to-male sweepstakes and have many more options than the average male. However, you can see how this backfires – women don’t dig jerks.

Of course, for the unrestricted men and women, the rules are quite different.

“For a hookup, the results suggest a different story: If you’re a women looking for casual sex, it does not pay to be hard to get. But if you’re a man looking for a casual fling, it pays to be impossible to get, says Jonason.”

You go, girrrrrrrl! It’s your call – use your sexual power wisely.